Don't Just Dream

I miss blogging. I actually told myself that I'd start blogging again when I have stable internet access. Lo and behold, I apparently can manage having stable internet access. [Thank you my sponsors: Smart Bro, Sammy, Toshi and Ingen.] Not as often as when I had Enso with me but well enough manageable.

Anyway, I've taken the first step into achieving a big dream but first I have had to let smaller dreams to come to pass. Among those small dreams was a dream of freedom from fear, being hurt and being belittled. A dream that started about June last year. A small dream that has now come to pass.

Yes, isn't it fortunate? Perhaps, but a lot of it wasn't just fortune. There was drive, determination and sooner than expected the diminishing amount of fear I felt. It's hard to be in a situation where you aren't heard, where people label you without bothering to listen to you, where you're already nothing and not given a chance to be something and most specially when you are told every single day that you will never amount to anything. It's a very hard, sad and hurtful situation. Yet, with a little love, a little hope, a little dream and a whole lot of faith, believe me you will come out strong.

I did.

I've been free for about a month and a half now. You see, I took that step. I took that step into the unknown trusting that God will watch over me. and He has. He really has. I left the place where the fear in me was planted, nurtured and is still trying to reach me.

Of course, it is not a miracle [though I still feel and believe it is] that my dream had come to pass. There are casualties, Enso and Demitri. Though, I know there will be better and better will come. Life is manageable now, not great, not quite yet, but it is far more that what I could have asked for. For that, I am grateful.

The most important lesson I've learned from all this is that, dreams don't just come to pass. You have to act on them. You have to make that first step. If you don't, you never will know what it could be. I believe that dreams are there as a way of God telling you that He still believes in you. He still is all for you. He still loves you. No matter what they all say.

It hurts me that others are still in that place of fear and that they are being pushed down by the very people that should help them up. How can I blame those people who do not wish to see, they are afraid too.

I've smiled more now despite things being hard. I cry too, it's not always as happy as it should be, but I am glad we are trying to be happy. I hope they smile sometimes too.

As I start to act on my bigger dream, I urge you to as well. Don't just dream, act on it.

I'm still smiling. I'll keep smiling. After all, this year, I will be happy.