Of Black Clouds & Not Just Silver Linings

Christmas Shopping 101

2011-12-19T04:31:00.000+08:00

Before anything:

Happy Holidays!

Over the weekend, Arckham and I had places to be and people to see which basically required us to go around the metro. The heavy traffic we faced was close to stand stills and the rather annoying part is that it was EVERYWHERE. We went from Ortigas to Diliman to Quezon Ave and finally Blumentritt. Let me just say that every step of the way was frustrating and to top it all off it rained. Gah! [Picky cab drivers were also of no help]

In the least, I was thankful we weren't heading to the mall.

Let's all learn from this years traffic clog. According to PUV drivers, the traffic is due to people who are basically doing last minute Christmas Shopping. Let me just say that this is something I do NOT practice. Here are the reasons why:

The Crowds - it's hard to pick a present for the people on my list if I am frustrated mainly because people are all in the malls. It's crowded, stuffy, smelly and everyone is irritable.
The Poor Quality Products - with the amount of people in the mall purchasing things, everything you are likely to get would either be defective or would probably be lacking sizes since the early bird probably got the better quality products already.
Low Quality of Service - More over, with the influx of people to be catered to the sales ladies/gentlemen are too tired and also highly irritable and would really not pay as much attention to you as compared to a few weeks before.
Prices Are Hiked - as much as you would like to tell yourself it's Christmas and there's a sale sign, the items you buy are 10%-20% more than their regular price. [Believe me, I canvass before I buy anything]

See? *shivers*

I also do not understand why this happens? I mean there are so many other and better ways to shop nowadays. [Yes, even on a busy schedule.] Moreover, Christmas Bonuses are given on the later part of November to the 1st week of December which gives people a lot of time to budget, canvass and shop.

For those who want to lessen the stress of Christmas Shopping in 2012, here are a few good practices I've been doing over the years:

Make a list. Always organize who you're going to be blessing this Christmas. This helps you not forget or miss anyone during the season of giving.
Budgeting. Always function on a budget. [on everything and not just this season actually] Make sure that you are not going to stretch your funds thinly over the season. Think about it this way, buying gifts over paying your bills should never be the case. It is not a pretty picture once Christmas Eve comes along and you don't have electricity or food prepared.
Brainstorming. Now that you have your budget, start thinking of what the people on your list need/want this Christmas season. Yes, it is the thought that counts so let's make an effort. This is also a good starting point so that you are not aimless wandering the malls and wondering what to give to people on your list. [Make sure that what you get them is within your budget]
Canvass. You actually don't necessarily need to go around at all. Check stores online and also make sure to take note of prices in order to compare and get the best buys. Most stores located in malls would have websites and contact details, go ahead and use these resources to your advantage. Once you've decided, have it reserved and pick it up or delivered. Sometimes, you don't need to purchase your gifts. You can make them yourself or even give away things you don't really use. [Like that top that really isn't really your style but looks great on your best bud.]
Wrapping. Yes this is part of the process. Here's the part where you also can save money. Remember those old magazines you no longer read? Brochures that are no longer useful? Posters? Left over wrappers from the previous year? Well, start using those to wrap your gifts. Get creative. I believe you would find this rather relaxing. [I do]

If you do come up with a budget, don't forget to include yourself. After all, you had been a good shopper and deserve a little treat. For me this year, it's a set of rings from Charm Bin. I really love the items that CB releases. It's fun, laid back and I can sport it at work. CB has good value for money [at times, also a amazing bargains and finds]. Transactions are easy and they are also very accommodating. [Specially to busy girls like me.] I definitely recommend them for stress free shopping.

So here's [one] of my Christmas Gifts to myself:

I am loving it. Thanks, Charm Bin!

Zikon's Debut At MechaPinoy's 2011 Christmas Party

2011-12-19T03:32:00.001+08:00

Last December 11, 2011 was the MechaPinoy 2011 Christmas Party. This is one of the groups that support GunPla in the Philippines. Moreover, they throw awesome Christmas Parties with awesome food [let me say that again: awesome FOOD] and awesome people. :D [No, there are not live Gundams as we all might wish but still OSM]

Anyhow, every year an event is held as part of the party program. It's call the SD Con. It's basically sort of an art competition where different people submit entries that they sealed, sanded, painted and detailed. It's called SD Con mainly since the entries should SD GunPla. [Think the chibi kind]

You may not remember this post. Anyway, sadly I was not able to finish that project but plan to revisit it in the future. What I am proud to say this time around though, is that I was able to join the competition and complete ZIKON. :D *extremely proud*

Here he was as his SD Zaku self:

Here's his final look as Zikon:

Yes inspired by Dimitri, my camera and the I Am Nikon campaign. Even though I was a bit drunk when I did this, it has gotten me hooked and I'm already thinking of my next GunPla project.

Anyway, if you guys want to see how Zikon transformed just click this link.

Navigating and Changing 2012

2011-12-05T03:06:00.001+08:00

It's the end of the year and as with every year end I have a series of little personal traditions I follow to help me close the year and welcome the next. The first of which is planner buying. :D

Alrighty, one thing you should know about is that I like writing my thoughts down. It helps me relax, keeps me grounded and helps me focus. I have been a "planner person" since my 2nd year in college when I realized that calendars are not sufficient to help me harness my life. Since, then I've had to find the perfect planner for every single year.

I also have this thing that before December 1, I should already have my planner (or in this case planners) for the next year.

So, here are the two things that will be my constant companions for 2012:

Navi 2012

I can see the hundreds of unwritten pages flicker in front of me. I long ot fill them with the day-to-day adventures of life, the milliseconds that make up the most amazing moments and the myriads of treasures that await every place I long to encounter. - Navi 2012

When I started working, I made sure to keep my personal life personal and my professional life professional. Hence, I also decided to have a planner specifically for work. [That and that both personal and professional life cannot be handled by just one planner]. For 2012, I've decided on the Navi 2012.

My favorite feature of Navi is the Manifesto. It's something I find unique to Navi. I also like the bucket list and the awesome photography and excerpts. One thing, I'm not too happy about it is that the actual daily writing space is a bit cramped. [Trust me I know, I had the Navi 2010] That's one of the reasons why it's my work planner and not my personal planner. Too little space for journal writing but just enough to keep track of deadlines, meetings and to-do lists. The right hand pages would be sufficient for meeting notes as well. Oh and like it's counterpart, BDJ, it also has coupons.

What drew me to get the Navi is mainly due to what it represents: Adventure, Exploration and Direction. So why the heck is it my work planner when it really fits my personal activities? Well, I recently moved into a new company. Honestly, I'm going to be a half a year old by January though I think I'm done adjusting there is still a lot to learn [and I am loving it.] I want Navi be there to guide me as I plan my year at work, travel and move towards the goals that I will be setting for myself in January.

This Journal Will Actually Change Someone's Life 2012

For my personal thoughts: This Journal Will Actually Change Someone's Life 2012. If there is one thing I love about this planner is that it is totally fun. It may not have coupons like Navi nor as coveted as the Starbucks Planner. I have to say this beats both with the fun filled pages and moreover, buying this planner already helps someone since part of the proceedings goes to a NGO that is dedicated to a good cause. More over, through out the year you are made aware of how to better yourself and better the world. [And believe me, this is keeps me grounded.]

It has a quarterly check up to see how you are doing. Its pages are filled with interesting facts and trivia. It is functional and equipped with mood charts, monthly budget and to-do list space. What I love the most about this planner is that big amount of space it has for writing. There are only 4 days in a spread. I can't wait to start filling it with my thoughts and observations for 2012.

I'd like to think I'm ready for the new year now.

Cold Air, Comforting Words, Great Photography

2011-12-01T01:29:00.001+08:00

So my trip to Baguio was not all that bad. What I love about the place are the really warm and cool people I know. [:P Words are so fun.] I have great friends that just absolutely know how to cheer me up. I love you guys for knowing how to push my buttons. :P

So here's the rest of my trip...

Dinner with The Book Club. This is basically my high school group of friends. I absolutely love these people since they are the ones who are there for me no matter what crazy thing I do. There were only four of us present for that dinner: Lor, Kaye and Jake. [I miss you Pip, Meg and Cha] Being with this group of people probably would be the best place for great-slash-crazy conversation. We have our own twisted logic.

I also love them since they know where in Baguio to get the best food with awesome value for money. Let me just say that I was not able to get a picture of my dinner cause I ate it up so fast. Then we had dessert which is totally a given when we get together.

Thanks for dessert, Jake. Thanks for also allowing me to take numerous pics of you guys.

Midnight Coffee at Ionic. Midnight Snack at Good Taste. If there is one thing Baguio has to offer is the great secret cafes and places with awesome food. Ionic recently got renovated. Gone are the ancient table clothes with cigarette burns [sadly, the mafia feel is gone as well] but same great coffee. I was there for awhile and had some me time before June joined me.

Kris, one of my dearest friends, informed me that he was coming up to Baguio. So, June and I waited in Ionic for him. I met Tyler that night as well. Once everyone was properly [and improperly? :P] introduced. We headed to Good Taste for their scrumptious buttered chicken. [Again, no picture of the food since we were really hungry.]

June had to go. Then Kris, Tyler and I decided to wait for dawn at his place.

Exploring the 50's, Casa and the Clouds. After dawn, I headed home and crashed for a few hours before I started hunting down lunch. Since Tyler hasn't been to 50's Diner that's where I met up with them for lunch. Tyler got quite a surprise with how generous a serving his lunch was.

After which we walked to Casa Vallejo, it's an old hotel that burned down a long time ago. It was recently refurbished and re opened. It now houses a classy restaurant and a hotel as well as the most awesome bookshop, Mt. Cloud.

Awesome DoppleSiblings. While at Mt. Cloud, I met up with two of the most amazing people I know. They are both rather well known artists online and I am so happy to be able to call them my friends. They got to play around with Dimitri and I think I might just be able to pull them into photography. :P [I can't wait to see them again on the 23rd of December]

After taking lots of pictures in Mt. Cloud, we headed to Picarre in SM to sit and chat. And another pair of really awesome CG artists [and my childhood friends] joined us. We played a couple of rounds of guessing details about each others lives. After which, they started sharing their work with each other and I just took pictures. [I cannot draw or contribute to a discussing of drawing to save my life.]

So, let's just say that despite the dismal reason that I had gone home. My friends made sure I left with a smile. I love you guys. :D

Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

2011-11-27T02:14:00.001+08:00

On to the promised Baguio visit post...

One of the things I appreciate when I come home is that for some reason people and the place in general is accommodating [More on this later.] Convenient and efficient? Yes-ish. Accommodating? Yes. Anyway, the reason I went up to Baguio last weekend was to tell the truth. The dim, dismal truth of it all.

The truth is all about what I had gone through all my life. It is now officially known by the Philippine public, what abuse I went through all those years.

To be honest, it was not easy. I have never officially been under investigation or spoken in court. This would be the first time and the topic at hand is something that hits a sore spot. [Yes, I did not cry on that stand. That was hard to do.]

In the least, I appreciate that the people that took the stand had spoken in truth and I am very much proud of them. [I <3 my sibs]. I hope that this would all end swiftly and justice be dealt. I understand that this is hard for everyone but for the record as much as I wanted to bring this out this way. I didn't start this, but I will not take this lying down either. I've been there and done that. It doesn't do anyone any good.

What peeves me now is that a response was recently sent to me is still full of lies. It's actually quite amazing the way she can lie like that. It scares me how different reality is in her head and what the truth really is. I guess the photos and recordings help bend things to the side of truth. [Hurrah for my incessant need to document things.]

I hope that the government would really decide on the side of justice and truth. If this screws up, I swear to raise hell and high water.

I don't really know why it has to come to this. We are definitely not rich and we are working for what we have. I don't understand how other people can think that they don't have to do the same. I also do not appreciate those who think that saving face is more important than the truth. I also do not know why people think that they can just come in and act like they were always there to seem like heroes [If people really cared, I do believe they would have acted on it if words were not enough]. I also would like to understand why help is not accepted when it's freely given, I hope my special people would want to change the status quo.

At the end of the day, I hope that things would go smoothly and that the truth is heard and learned by many. I hope at the end of this all, she would accept truth.

I got to see my siblings in the least and got to hang out with them a little. This part made me smile despite the reason we were able see each other is not even close to ideal.

Not a very happy post about Baguio, but not to worry, updates about the rest of the trip will be up soon. I just needed to unload all this, guys.

Already Diffused

2011-11-25T02:14:00.001+08:00

Howdy, y'all. I really have been meaning to post about what's been going on in my life lately but time [and oh so many distractions] would not permit. I want to get the ball rolling by starting with getting my Pop-up Flash Diffuser. [Which was there to kick off the very colorful weekend.]

Anyway, one of the things that I immediately planned to get when I got Dimitri [Nikon D3100] was a pop-up flash diffuser. I am not really into flash photography but I thought it would be a good thing to have just in case I would need to do some fill-in flash photography. [Lots of jargons? Forgive me.]

Let me clarify a few things to make things so that we're on the same page. Remember those red-eyes we get on photos when we use the flash? Or those unsightly oily/glaring spots on our faces when we use the flash? Well what a diffuser does is that it diffuses the light that is made by the flash, giving us nearly the same brightness but with a softer feel. Yes, it helps eliminate red-eyes and glares.

So back to the diffuser I got. I started browsing the web a week before my target date [which just happened to be one hectic week which will be explained in another post]. I found The Photo Shop in Multiply that sold camera accessories. Initially I was actually looking for the Gary Fong Diffusser which basically looks like this:

And I was really excited when I saw the picture online. I immediately called them up and placed in an order. A few days later, I paid via bank transaction [since, it would be rather expensive to go to Cebu to pick up the item :P]. The item was set to arrive the next day but it didn't. I called up the courier and found out it was on its way. So instead of stressing myself out about the item possibly being lost, I decided to distract myself with DC Universe Online and packing for my trip to Baguio for the last weekend.

The next day while I was preparing to leave for work with all the things I needed. [Plan was to head to the bus straight after the office.] Just before I was about to leave, LBC rang my doorbell and hurrah! It has arrived. I ripped it open and lo and behold this is what I got:

So, yes you can say I was slightly disappointed. There is an obvious difference. I gave it the benefit of the doubt and tried out a few shots and it seemed to be working just as well. Hence, I decided to keep the item.

Anyway, that the story of the diffuser. The Photo Shop was quick with the transactions. I know for a fact that it was shipped within the same day cause I got the tracking number a few minutes after the deposit was made. I guess I should have expected that there would be a delay since couriers do encounter problems. I guess my only main feedback about the The Photo Shop is that to try as much as possible to make sure the items on the site would match the ones sent to the customer. I mean this is just a diffuser but what if it was a battery grip? *dan dan dan daaaaan*

All-in-all, I liked what I have mainly is because it does the job and at was really affordable which gives The Photo Shop plus points on my book. My advise is to make sure and clarify with the seller that you both have the same item in mind.

Anyway, it's 2 AM and I have work in a few hours. I'll start sharing my Baguio trip later today. Ciao!

On The Post Processing Debate

2011-11-13T22:04:00.001+08:00

As I waited for the DC Universe Online to finish downloading what ever it was downloading [It was a two day wait. Gah.], I decided to start uploading pictures I took over the weekend onto my Facebook.

So, I opened the folder with my RAW shots and started filtering those that I would be posting. One of the things that I add before I post pictures would be my watermark. I want people to know who took the picture [and also to make sure it isn't used without being given credit due me.]

Of course, admittedly I know that not all my shots are awesome and that why I tweak levels and at times dim the glares caused by the pop-up flash. [This I won't have to do since I'll be getting a diffuser pretty soon. Yay!]

This is how I treat my photos before sharing them with the world. Sadly, there is this big debate as to if this is a good thing or a bad thing that photographers practice and whether it is one of the ways of "true" photography.

Well, in my opinion, it isn't necessarily a bad thing. In the past, film photographers control the amount of light (aperture), shutter speed and film (ISO) used to come out with great photographs. In essence, digital photographers do the same as well. DSLRs have aperture control, shutter speed and ISO options embedded into their systems.

To get those special effects on photographs, film photographers would have modified lenses (fish eye, soft focus lenses, double exposure etc.,). Nowadays, this can be achieved if not directly for the DSLR software itself, then through Photoshop or other similar software.

Some of the photos I post processed for the weekend.

Like everything we've known in the past decade, things evolve. Photography is no different. Imagine all the things you had to lug around if DSLRs aren't as smart as they are now. Heavy, huh? [My respect to those that had gone through this.] So generally, I think that we still practice the same things they did before with photographs, it just so happens that this time around we use a mouse and a software instead of lenses and a darkroom. [Oh, but I so would want to learn how to develop film.]

Anyway, I was reading through Jin Joson's post about this a few days ago. And well, she does make a point. Photography is now used for so many different things and have so many branches already and at times post processing is a must.

At the end of it all, I don't think post processing is a bad thing and if possible we should also come up with our own styles since it can be a new avenue to express ourselves better. Though here's my qualifier [and my pet peeve]: When so called "photographers" say "May photoshop naman" after taking and even before taking a shot. Post processing should never be an excuse to NOT learn the basics of photography.

IMO.

After Halloween

2011-11-07T21:11:00.000+08:00

It's the final quarter of the year. It's time to do the remaining things on my yearly to do list and start working on my Christmas List. [That by the way is still a lot of wrapping up to do. :P]

In the Philippines once the -ber months hit, you are guaranteed Christmas songs and yes, even Christmas Trees in various establishments. [Yes, as early as September and I kid you not.] For me, the Christmas season really starts after Halloween.

Why after Halloween? Well, my birthday is at the start of October and I take this month to treat myself. Basically, this month is for me to celebrate that I am alive and kicking. I take this month say thanks to the people that have been with me throughout the years.

At the end of October, after Halloween, I start focusing on the next big thing: Christmas. It gives me ample time to save up for gifts that I will be giving to the people I would like to say thank you to. Or want to make smile this season. It's also gives me ample time to recover from my celebrations and focus on other people.

I don't believe on giving expensive gifts. Yes, I am one of those that believe that it's the thought that counts. When I give gifts as well, I prefer to give them something they need or something they want. After all, I think it sends a good message that what is important to them is important to you as well. [Yes, I appreciate wish lists.] Speaking of which here's my preliminary list for the generous hearts out there: *winkwink*

1. Colleczion T-shirt
2. Rash Guard [So that I'm not too burnt next year while surfing.]
3. Pop up Flash Diffuser [Gary Fong's please. :P]
4. Deviant Art Subsciption. [Even if it's just for 3 months.]
5. Surprise me.

After Halloween, I sense it get colder and I tend to mellow down. I look back on the events of the past year often and reflect. After all, I hope to learn from the lessons I had this year and have a better year next year. I also notice that this is the time of the year that the real friends come out to play. [Hi, guys.] It's been somewhat of a tradition that I see these people on this final quarter, hence, I have a year of stories to tell them and vice versa.

Anyway, just giving you guys a preview of what I do after Halloween. So how are you guys wrapping up this year?

During Halloween

2011-11-02T16:59:00.000+08:00

A late Happy Halloween to one and all. I hope you all enjoyed it.

Despite the long weekend here in my country, I was not able to travel or head home like everyone else. Mainly due to the following things: Dimitri rendering me broke [plus tuition fees that needed paying], I'm sick and I just didn't feel like competing with everyone intent on traveling home. So, I bonded with the internet at home.

First thing I did was to visit my different accounts and update their respective looks. I actually do this [at least once] every year just after my birthday. I believe that in my life it's the new year and I want things to look and feel new. Hence, I update my profile information [informing people that I'm older :P] and page layouts.

Plurk

So, yes my Plurk page looks like you turned the light on on the last layout and also looks like the home page of Twitter.com. *laughs*

Twitter

I love my Twitter layout! It's a very nice CG of the beach which is currently one my favorite places.

Multiply

As most of you would know, I really haven't give much thought to my Multiply site in a long time. [I think it's been more than a year already] Since I was on an update frenzy, I decided to tweak it as well and change the layout. Though as to whether or not I should update it is another matter entirely. It used to be my photo dump but right now, I really don't know what to do with it. Should I start posting photos there again? To post or not to post that is the question.

And of course, for blogger, you can check out ArXy's new header and scroll back up for to see my new header as well. [If you noticed all the pictures I used up there are from the same shoot including my profile picture.]

Despite staying in, I think this is very productive long weekend. Arckham and I also started playing Dragon Nest just to check it out one afternoon. Now we are both officially working our way up the levels. We are on our gamer modes again. [We're in SpringWood, if you guys are interested to join us]

That's all I did. [and sleep and eat and watch TV and practice photography of course and... :P] How was your weekend?

Welcome, Dimitri

2011-10-29T02:31:00.002+08:00

Well, this is it. The biggest addition to my family of gadgets, my own DSLR (Digital Single Lens Reflex) . I have given it the name: Dimitri.

As of today, I am a proud owner of a Nikon D3100. I am very much excited about this since it took a lot of saving up for. As I have said in previous posts, I like working towards a goal. This also has been one of the things I have been hoping for for quite some time now. This also would serve as my 23rd Birthday give to myself. [Yay for birthday!]

Anyway, I would first want to thank Techmania for delivering my new baby. I actually contacted them last Tuesday regarding the D3100 package they had on their site which by the way boasts of very affordable prices. I sent them a text message and they were immediately able to to give me a scheduled time of stock arrival. They are easy to talk to and very professional. They informed me that there was a change in price, though that was a bit of a bummer, I am thankful that they were straight forward and informed me ahead of time.

Ever since I started shopping online, I always opt for the meet up option cause in any case it gives me a chance to inspect the product in front of the seller or a representative. We set up the meeting today and though the delivery was a tad bit late, I was able to get it within an hour of the proposed meeting time. It was forgivable since I was kept posted through text anyway.

So, if any of you guys are looking into getting a gadget, I'd like to recommend Techmania and you can check them out at: http://techmania.multiply.com/ They sell all kinds of gadgets and not just cameras.

Anyway, here's the first shot I took with Dimitri:

Done in Full Manual.

When I started to inspect the package, I was delighted to see familiar controls and functions. I also am very glad I still have the basics in me, so much so that the first shot didn't turn out bad at all. I think this is very much a good sign.

With the recent calamity in Thailand, I was expecting that it would take some time for me to get Dimitri. I am very happy I got him much sooner.

Watch out world, I am armed and ready to shoot.

One 2 3

2011-10-28T00:29:00.000+08:00

So, I just recently got older and just before my birth month ends, I think it's rather appropriate to share something I am thankful for.

One: For one year of blessing. The biggest of which is my new company and the great new people I am now working with. [God really knows how to turn things around] I am really thankful that my transition to this new chapter has been smoother than I could ever hope for. I am very happy to report that I am no longer losing sleep and no longer fatigued [with activities that isn't my choice I mean]. I loving that my work and life are coming together in one good balance.

My New deviantID

2: For the travel opportunities. Oh, the places I've been and the people I've seen. I am really happy for all the exposure I'm getting. I'm glad for the people that are just as interested in discovering new places as I am. I am happy to experience first hand the hospitality this country is known for. Moreover, I love the fact that I've began surfing [again]! I am looking forward to more adventures.

3: For things to learn and hope for. One of the things I am proud of is being able to say that I am learning each and everyday. I am glad that there are things that I am working toward and hoping for. I am looking forward to more of this in the future. After all, all things seem to be sweeter if you deserve it. [And by that I mean, you've worked for something and reached it]

So, still on my 23rd year alive, I am grateful.

Trese 4: Last Seen After Midnight

2011-09-29T00:45:00.001+08:00

I cannot express how happy I was when I read about the upcoming release of Trese 4.

It will be out this coming October 8, 2011 at Robinson's Galleria NBS Bestsellers.

So you all know where I'll be then. By the way, you can read more about this in ArXy.

Mountain Girl Loves the Water

2011-09-05T00:46:00.000+08:00

So part of my 2011 itinerary is to travel and the indeed has come to fruition. It's funny though that most of the places I've been to so far involve the sea or water in general. [It was raining cats and dogs in Baguio when I was there.]

I love the ocean. I grew up in the mountains but I love the ocean. Let me tell you that I'm not even a great swimmer. [I'm not floater either. I'm a sinker.] Though that most of the time I am out in the water, I am aware that it might be the death of me. Let's just say I am living on the edge.

Canyon Cove, Batangas

[It was the amazing race, the kayaking and the people]

San Juan, La Union

[It was getting back on a surf board, the rest, old and new friends.]

Balai Isabel, Batangas

[It was games, the cheer and the new teammates.]

Anilao, Batangas

[It was the Chica reunion, the storm, the drive, beach bumming and book reading]

Oh well, I loved every trip I've taken so far and looking forward to more. Where have you been lately? And where should I go next?

ExStream

2011-08-11T21:52:00.003+08:00

It's been awhile since I've last written a post. Which is rather sad since I keep telling myself to write more when I have the time. [Which I'm happy to report that with recent developments, time for myself is a happy side effect.]

Anyhow, I think it's always a good idea to start with a grateful post. Hence, Thank you, Team.

As some of you may know, I've decided to move forward with my life and my career. Let me share that this was not an easy step to take. It took a lot of talking it out, self examination and consultations, but by June, upon hitting my first year in my previous company. [Yeap, read it again if you got to] There were a lot of things that convinced me that it's time to move on and that this change would be for the better.

I learned a lot that's for sure; from hitting targets to coordinating between different departments in that function in different time zones. [Bonus is getting paid to be a Grammar Nazi] I am certainly grateful for the skills I've acquired but more than that I am grateful for the people that I've met and worked with. I am especially grateful to my Team. It is in this team where the saying, "It's the people you have and not what you have that spells success", comes alive.

So for all the late nights in the office, the skipped lunches, the really late lunches, for the rides home together, for the post queue ranting sessions and for life coaching sessions, Thank you, CompetiTEAM.

X-23 v 2.0: Toycon 2011

2011-06-27T00:04:00.000+08:00

Well, I finally got my boots cleaned and fixed a few weeks ago. And what better way to re-introduced them but by wearing them at Toycon.

The last time I wore the X-23 Costume was last November 2010. [You can check it out here.] There were definitely more than a few kinks. One was that my hair wasn't quite long enough yet. Second, I was in my rubber shoes [cause I didn't have my boots fixed then]. Lastly, I haven't quite honed my make up skills then.

So, here I am as Laura Kinney (X-23) at this year's Toycon:

X-23 (Laura Kinney)

Me and the Classic X-Men (Havoc, Wolverine, Forge)

Me and the New X-Men (Young Kitty Pride, Dust)

Me and Friends

Here's the reference art that I got the costume from [Just in case you guys haven't seen this yet]:

If you guys don't know who X-23 is. She is basically Wolverine's clone but you can read more about her
here.

I think the major turning point of this version is the make up. It really helped me with the facial expressions. Laura had a rather dark aura that is quite hard to channel if you haven't killed someone before hence I was having a hard time getting into character. Once I had the make up on though and had a little practice run in front of the mirror at home.

I really like the street version of her, but I think I'm going to move up and start on her X-Factor costume soon. If so, that's probably the first time I'm going to tackle masks. And how am I going to handle the midrift! If any of you guys have suggestions about how I should go about it then shoot me a comment.

Science Stumbled on Something

2011-05-23T04:40:00.005+08:00

Go with your heart, buddy. Our brains only screw things up.
-Chuck Bartowski, Chuck(2007)

I had the past couple of days off from work. I really needed that since I've been on split offs for a long time. Anyway, my original plans to see my dad didn't really push through. [Yes, I am still bummed out about it] Though, Arckham and I made up for it by having a movie date which we haven't done in awhile.

In addition, I had some me time and I did a lot of reading and catching up with people I care about. And I'd like to share something I came across when I was going through my blogroll:

...a health reporter, I see so many studies of the causes and symptoms of work stress. So it was refreshing to see a study about the converse: what makes workers happy.
Focusing on social workers, a profession known for its high attrition, stress and burnout, John Graham, Ph.D., a professor of social work at the University of Calgary and his then doctoral student Micheal Shier, now at the University of Pennsylvania sent a survey out to 2,500 registered social workers in Alberta, Canada. Seven hundred people responded.

From that group they took 13 people who scored the highest in nine areas of happiness and then followed them closely through in-depth interviews about their lives at home, at work and through shadowing them at work. Here’s what he found made them happy:
1. Flexible work schedules. The workers had the ability to provide “selfcare” by having the flexibility to manage their personal lives. A flexible schedule helped them to achieve a healthy work-life balance.
2. A strong sense of engagement in their work. The researcher found that was because of behind-the-scenes support the employees received from their bosses and employers. This support included flex schedules as well as the availability of superiors to consult with and bounce issues off of.
3. A feeling of being appreciated and valued, which often stemmed from their being included in organizational decision-making.
4. Having a high degree of freedom built into their jobs, meaning that they wanted the ability to try new things and expand out of their immediate area.
5. A pleasant physical workspace and good relationships with clients and colleagues.
6. Having a diversity of responsibilities, which might include training or teaching others, research, and policy development work.
7. Having a mentor to talk about their life, career decisions and their day-to-day job.

Graham and Shier are currently researching whether these factors make other types of workers happy as well, but the hunch is that these attributes would be important to all workers. What improves your sense of well being at work?

Thank you for this, theminordetail.

One of my goals is to be happy [I believe that goal should be fairly common.] and I spend time looking into it that I am headed in the right direction. This study gave me a lot to think about after all I think science is on to something here.

Well, it's the start of the week. Game on.

New Breathing Space

2011-05-16T04:06:00.001+08:00

One of the things I am very particular about is the space I move around in. I like the concept of owning my space derived from the popular concept "of making it your own". [Yes, I am a bit territorial: RAWR!]

I bought my first piece of furniture yesterday. It's a basic computer table.It is very cheap yet sturdy. [If you are wondering where I got it, it's from CDR King Starmall.] Arckham and I assembled it on the wee hours of Sunday. [We first finished marathoning The Big Bang Theory's Season 3 :P]

Assembling was a little bit tricky, since there was this piece that had the wrong screws. We needed wood screws but the one that came with it were flat ones. We got creative with it and used the screw drivers we had to create the slots so the flat screws would slide into it.

By 5 AM, we already had it standing on four wheels.

Yes, I don't really have a PC. I basically will be using the keyboard slot of the table to keep Pierre [my laptop]. Then using the desk space as basically a regular work desk. I can always pull out the laptop when I need it.

That evening, I started working on rearranging my part of the room to accommodate the new computer table. I had previously bought some boxes for storage since one of my cabinets are slowly reaching it's capacity. It was rather cheap, I got them from St. Francis Square in Mandaluyong. One can even double as a chair [but I'm mainly going to use it as a foot rest].

Then, I also started working on the wall. My main passion in life is music. So much so that it makes me sad that I'm not much of a music geek anymore. [I plan to get back into that soon.] I have always found comfort in the so called universal language and I wanted that to come through in my little corner of the world. So, I worked on revamping the wall as well.

The wall stickers are also from CDR King. They really are coming up with great stuff just need a little more creativity to not come out generic, but they basically give you great key elements to work with.

Safe to say that was one productive day, there are still a few things that I am still hunting down: chair, shoe rack, cork board, mirror and a lamp. Any suggestions where I should go? [Note that I have a rather tight budget.]

Anyway, I will be sure to update you guys on how this new space will turn out.

Copper Streaks

2011-04-24T09:00:00.001+08:00

Since we are approaching the middle of summer and the summer heat is in an all time high, my sporting long locks was becoming irritating, Moreover, since I grew my hair straight out, it turned out boring. [Which is something I don't like. I am a fan of funky hair.] To remedy the situation, I looked into some resource photos and got a new cut.

So, I wanted something new without losing the length of my hair. I also wanted bangs since it reminded me of my sister who I sorely miss. [Bangs are adorable on her!] So, I looked for funky bangs and layered hair. Though, I do think that the funky bangs won't be enough to revamp my look so I decided to have streaks of color running through my hair, hence, the highlights. I originally wanted red, purple or blue but for the sake of work, I settled for copper. It's a little reddish but not too much.

I had this done at Index Salon: Lifehomes. My hairdresser was Sherwin. [I think he was the manager]. Anyway, I would just like to share what I went through since this would be the first time I ever had my hair colored.

First, was the hair cut to get the bangs and the layered hair I was aiming for. Then start picking the hair to highlight and bleach it:

After bleaching, the color was set in:

And lastly, modification to the hair cut. Here's the final product:

Thanks, Sherwin.

Three Year's the Charm

2011-04-24T08:07:00.001+08:00

[To my readers: Cheesy coming your way.]

Dear Arckham,

Three years ago, you were an avatar running about Cora HQ. Three years ago, I was a dealing with Math 2 and the summer classes in the summer heat.

Three years ago, we founded SOUL together with kaira, Deus, Synbios, Falathiel, Coralyn, and Yamir. You were a guild mate, an online friend, a text mate, a tank, a sounding board, my Filipino teacher, and well, you became my boyfriend. My first big grown up decision was to open my life, heart and self to you.

Three year ago, we were a really young happy couple. Initially, all I had to deal with were the girls that were still hung up over you, and you had to deal with the online boys that I never knew liked me. Of course, that was nothing [and I mean NOTHING] compared to what came next.

We had to deal with: disapproval, hiding, unacceptance, being disowned, and even a year of separation. [Primarily, all these did come from my side of the equation.] What's amazing is that you stayed with me every step of the way. You saw at my worst, at my lowest and my most vulnerable. You never left me. For that reason, I know you deserve my best.

Two years ago, we decided to stay together, as us, no matter how far apart we are. Two years ago, I thought we wouldn't last a year, but hey, we did.

One year ago, I made the second biggest decision of my life. I decided to stand up for me against all that pushed me down. You were there holding my hand and giving me the courage to do what I had to do. One year ago, I was homeless, unemployed and on my own, but you were there. You stood by me where I believe most guys would have given up. You accepted me for my past and all my negatives as well as positives.

Today, I look back on everything we've been through together and I thank God for the miracle He gave me three years ago. You.

I love you. Let's keep counting the years together.

Yours,
Xylith

On An OSM Weekend

2011-04-18T02:42:00.001+08:00

Well, it's been quite awhile since I've had a weekend off. [Yes, I've been on split offs which I really don't like, I don't really get any rest that way] So anyway, I've just had a weekend off and it was awesome. Allow me to share teh awesomeness.

I had a full Saturday with three stops to cover:

Summer Komikon 2011:

My first stop was Summer Komikon 2011 which was held in Bayanihan Center, Pasig:
It's a local convention that primarily showcases local comic book publishers and artists both the veterans and the up and coming comic artists. I primarily went there to meet Budjette Tan the creator of Trese. [Indeed, I went to fan girl]
Of course, I also was able to get a reading and met Taga-ilog and Memer both of which used to work on Culture Crash together. [Thanks for introducing me to Culture Crash, Arckham.]

Paul&Joe Sale

Next stop was Makati, where I went to help a friend by attending one of the events his company had. I would just like to say that having uber cool friends are fun. P got me to get a lot of stuff which I essentially need and am happy about. [Yes, I fan this brand.]
I like it cause it really goes well with my skin and it takes care of it at the same time as well. I also got to meet lots of cool people at the event too. Btw, here's their adorable site

The Script

The highlight of the day was The Script Live in Manila. The show was definitely the bomb! The audience and stage energy was very good. Kudos to The Script.
I was able to meet up with friends from Baguio as well. This was the ultimate cool. Next year, I want to be in Patron with my siblings and J's siblings with N as well. Let's make it a date. [R, my dear apprentice, I really wish you were there.]
Of course, I can't leave you without a piece of their music.

As for Sunday, I finally had a full day's rest. I hope to have more weekends like this. How was your weekend?

Project Eva V.1: At Ozine Fest 2011

2011-04-14T03:49:00.002+08:00

I am very happy to say that this is a success. Here are the much awaited pictures:

The Sights

So there were free Gunplas being given away courtesy of Bandai in cooperation with MechaPinoy. My Eye make up [sorry for the blur]. Otaku Hats which seems to be the con staple lately. And of course, my cosplay partner, Wall(e).

The MechaPinoys (and MechaPinays)

Cosplayers

That's Hikaru from Angelic Layer, Arckham and Green Lantern, Megaman, and the most ADORABLE little Black Rock Shooter EVER! [Yes, I went gaga over this little girl.]

Last but not the least, Me as The Mecha Musume version of Eve from the Disney movie, Wall(e):

Thank you Peps Escalante for the big photograph. Thank you K for the only picture of me and Imahica together.

Sufficient to say, I enjoyed myself during the event. There were hordes of people. Lots of great cosplays as compared to Friday. Official review will come out in ArXy.

So, here are a few things I will be improving on Project Eva: the gloves, I'm planning to work a gun in there and the Green logo. If you have suggestions, I am open to them, please leave a comment.

Anyway, I'll catch you guys around.

Project Eva V.1: Ozine Debut

2011-04-10T03:11:00.002+08:00

So, I've been slowly working on this for quite some time now. Project Eva version 1 is going to have it's debut in OzineFest 2011 which has been happening in the Mega Trade Halls since this Friday.

Yes, I still am going to keep you guessing on what Eva is. [Actually if you are a pretty good snoop, you'd have found out already. I've been talking about it lately.] You'll just have to come to OzineFest on the last day to see Project Eva.

And another thing, MechaPinoy also have their work displayed for an in house event. It's definitely something to check out. Here are the details:

I hope to see you there.

Wah Happen?

2011-03-29T08:39:00.001+08:00

So yeah, I had to change my Plurk layout from this [which I love because of the colors *sad*]:

To this [which is by the way from here]:

Since the Photobucket of my previous provider seems to be in haywire. Check it out here. My new Plurk layout makes me want to travel.

Anyway, I gotta rush. Time for work work work.... *sigh*

If Nick Can...

2011-03-27T04:10:00.001+08:00

Well, it's my one day off and I start by spending it online. Oh the geek in me.

Anyhow, it's always been my thing to look after myself and others. I don't like getting hurt [who does? Masochists not counted]. Hence, once upon a time I kept myself in a fortress of steel [not literally, but that would be cool though.] The internet has been quite a friend really, you find people who you can relate with and you find things that inspire you, push you to go further , a place where you can step back and look at things for a second before diving into the chaos again. I like it when I stumble into such things online.

My life is not a bed of roses [I don't think I want it to be either. Variety is nice]. As with every other human being, I tend to think my problems are larger than life. I tend to be ego centric. I tend to be ... human. I always will need another perspective, and I know that. It's actually why I like meeting people of substance, experience and those that are will to teach and learn. They give me another point of view, another perspective which more or less nearly always leads to good.

I stumbled upon Mr. Vujicic. He's amazing. Don't take my word for it, take a look for yourself:

So right now, I'm thinking,: If Nick can, I can.

Reading Teh Interwebs

2011-03-24T06:49:00.003+08:00

I stayed up all night and read blogs that were bookmarked on my Chrome. I can definitely say I've missed a lot. I think my friends have a whole new life now, I seriously need some catching up time. [Note to self: Reach out and let the world know you are still alive.]

A few things I discovered during my blog hopping:

I've removed ALL-NEW MATH from my blog roll since Craig had already stopped the blog. Good Luck on the project. Thanks for helping quantify Life. Reader, if you have time, it would be good for you to check it out before it completely goes off the web.
While reading through Tumblr, I stumbled upon this. And I couldn't agree more. As much as possible, less post processing the better IMO.
It's nearly done, so I guess I should get reading on The Top 1000 Awesome Things.
The Zelda Project (whose link I also added to the blog roll) was brought to my attention by one of the people (my favorite cosplayer) I follow on DeviantArt. It's 3/3 combo for me. It has great photography, great cosplay and old school gaming. This project is definitely worth supporting. Oh how I wish I was there to help.
Kung may Tunay na Lalaki, may Tunay na Chicks. And my favorite so far: "Ang tunay na chicks, kayang magre-format ng PC."
Lastly, I am still at awe at how people come up with Art and more over great ideas. I stumbled upon Eli Klein. The works produced are amazing. I hope by some weird chance I get to meet him some day.

Alright, so that's it for tonight. I wish you all a good day ahead. This vampire will now hit the hay. Check out those links while I nap.

Taking a First Step with The 39 Steps

2011-03-21T02:34:00.001+08:00

Yay, I was able to catch my first play in a really long time awhile ago. It felt so good to be back in a theater with Actors and Actresses on stage.

I caught The 39 Steps at the Greenbelt Mall 1. It was presented by Repertory Philippines. Kudos to the cast of four that played 150 characters. I loved the audience interaction as well. *applause*

I love the theater. I like thinking I grew up with it. Starting elementary where I played minor parts and watched plays produced by Brent Baguio until High School where I had a chance to write a script, direct it and play one of the lead characters just before I graduated. [No, we were not short handed, I was just really immersed in this project. It was my script after all.] Though, primarily, I really am more of a backstage person. Script writer or Director has always been my chair. I know the chaos that goes on in the backstage to come up with a good performance.

My friend, K, really wants to make her way to the stage one day. She'll soon start with lessons and I am so excited for her. I hope everything goes well. My brother recently also sat on the director's chair for Protocol. This is a big step for him, since my brother rarely asserts himself but now I'm really proud of the hard work and dedication that he had for this project. [Thanks, W, for helping my bro with the soldier foot count.]

As for me, I think my role is in the audience now. As much as I miss the back stage work, the pre-opening night work and the medium, I know my place it's not on or back stage. It's right in Lower Orchestra Center. [If they'd allow me, it's with a DSLR too. No flashes promise. I'm good without flash anyhow. *wink*]

Rep Phil is coming up with Peter Pan and since Arckham hasn't seen this yet, I think we'll catch it. Come with?

Hello Pierre!

2011-03-13T23:11:00.000+08:00

So yes, I am back. I have done a lot of things over the past three days to have some semblance of a life.

Since, I've been going to work during Sundays in the last few weeks, I was given 3 days off from work to reset my weekends. What I did was pour my heart out into the different accounts that I have in order to revive them.

And thanks to Pierre [my laftaf] and Photoshop Creative Suite 5, we have accomplished the following:

1. Plurk:

2. Twitter:

3. Friendster [*le gasp* Yes, I still have it since I like tinkering with it.]

4. Deviant Art:

5. Arxy:

6. Of Black Clouds and Not Only Silver Linings

It's back to the office tomorrow. Oh well. In the least, lots of things accomplished this weekend.

By the way, DQ already started this, I plan to start now. we both had a deal on twitter to update our blogs at least once a week. So watch out for those posts :-)

Of 2010 and For 2011

2011-02-01T01:28:00.002+08:00

Well, in about 15 minutes, it would be Feb 1. I've taken the entire month of January 2011 to look back at 2010 and look forward to 2011.

So here are a 10 notable things of 2010:

Career Growth

This isn't merely because I got more responsibilities at work but also the growth in my skills and the feeling of accomplishing something. That something being worth while and meaningful. There are a lot of people whose lives might have changed due to getting a job, I'm glad I played a part in that. In the least, I know where all my OT, blood, sweat and tears had gone too. Hopefully next year, I'd be able to do things better and treat myself better as well.

Travel

Well, this is discounting the Baguio trips which is something I've been doing since college. I was able to fulfill this To Do around December. I would like to extend my thanks to E who was kind enough to be our tour guide and host. This mountain girl loves the beach!

2nd Year

Of course, despite the turbulent 2nd year we've had. We're still here and stronger than ever!

Cosplay

This I have to admit is fun. I think I got the push and encouragement I needed courtesy of my mentor in Cosplay, K. Teh, salamas!

Gadgets

Corby Pro, though you are not an Andriod, I absolutely love you, my every ready companion.

Hunger Games

This is definitely my Book series of the year. Despite my excruciatingly busy schedule, I finished this series in 2 weeks. I hope the rumored movie won't disappoint. I STRONGLY suggest you read this trilogy.

More of Moore

And Christopher Moore is my author of the year. Thanks, for making me laugh when I needed it the most.

Beautiful Script

Thanks to R for bringing them on top of my music pile again. This still is a favorite of mine:

Standing Up

Well, this was the year where I finally stood up for myself. Despite fear, oppression and pain, I was able to stand up for me and for those precious to me. Thank you Papa God, for helping me up.

Far Apart but Closer Together

Despite the pain we are subject to, we are closer than ever. We are working our way to happy.

Here are the 11 things for 2011:

More Travel - I want to see the world, well, perhaps just the Philippines for this year, but why not the world?
Freedom! - I want to show them that we can live free of fear.
MechaPinay - Yes, I will finish that Gundam. Oh and I will get Nobel.
Marathoner - I've started with Star Trek: Voyager and will continue my marathons until I've caught on with the world both Comedic and Animated.
Net Life - If last year, it was Corby my constant companion. This year, I'm aiming for a new best friend.
Photography - By end of year, new shots, new colors and new perspectives will come your way.
Made Up - Made up with Make Up. Walking a little bit more into the girl side of life.
Bookworm - Returning to an old love of mine. It's about time to start slowly but surely building up my library again.
Cos Play - More that just costumes this year. Major projects are: Eva, Genesis, Pegasus, Shooter and 23rd [Yes, code names for now.]. Minor projects will be announced throughout the year.
Three Times the Charm - I'm counting on 3 this year.
Movie Year - With all the movies lined yup for 2012, I can not NOT go see them.

If 2010 was great,

2011 is going to be AWESOME!

The Gamer and The Otaku Emerge

2010-11-06T00:48:00.003+08:00

In attempts to return to life outside the office, I will be attending the following events in a few hours.

In the morning, it would be Level Up! Live 2010. I'll be with my guild from RF Online (Rising Force Online), S.O.U.L. or Sacred Order of the Undying Light. We have a booth so please do visit if you are heading there. [We have merchandise you will love to buy *wink wink*]

In the afternoon, I'll be at UP AME: Now Playing Track 10. I'll be there as X-23 from the X-Men [Only the cool people know who she is... by the way, I'll be going as the Marvel Comics version :P I know it isn't anime but what ever. I groove to my own music.]

So if you will be there, let me know. I'd love to get to know my readers as well. [Though, I don't blog as much anymore. It would still be fun to know you guys.] See you there.

Here's the verdict:

LU Live 2010

Track 10

Though nevertheless, I had a lot of fun!

The Start of Something New

2010-10-11T02:51:00.000+08:00

10.10.10 was interesting. Mainly because I did this:

This would probably put what I'm wearing in perspective: [If you still don't get it... well... you may not know the game or you don't customize.]

Thanks for the wig, KA. :D

Thank You 22.

2010-10-07T02:01:00.001+08:00

This is me at midnight:

Yeap, start of my 22nd year on earth was on the job. Oh well, I wanted everything I needed to be done finished before I left to have my one day of rest. [Sadly, no I was not able to finish everything but I made a dent on the things I needed to do in the least]

Yes, it's been quite a long time since I blogged. I got way too busy. Oh well, at least it's work and it's earning me a living and keeping me alive.

I spent the rest of the day in bed and had some one on one time with myself. I had my nails done and went to the mall to window shop for Christmas presents [I always made sure that I start to budget my Christmas spending right after my birthday.]

Though that Christmas post will be for some other time.

Anyway, since I turned 22. I wanted to share with you how much my life has changed over the last year by sharing 22 things that I am thankful I have now.

Let's do this...

22. Corby Pro - Mainly because this is my new buddy. It's my hard earned reward for all the things I've been doing. Though, as my dad taught me this is a tool for me to be better and get somewhere, not necessarily something to flash around. [Still, it's nice that it's pretty.]

21. Wendy's - Since, it's not Mcdo *laughs*. It's my birthday meal today.

20. CDR King - for all the cheap [technical] life support they give me. I mean I can't help it but this store has made things bearable-slash-affordable for me. From the music pumping into my system that keeps me alive during my long commute up until the screen protector I just bought.

19. Sky Broadband - enough said. [3 mbps.. nummy]

18. Full night's sleep - because it's been a very rare occurrence lately.

17. Opportunities - because without any of those opportunities I would not have experience numbers 19-22. I think it's good that I learned to grab opportunities [with calculated risks of course] and make the best out of them. [I think I owe this to my upbringing but more to the environment I grew up in.]

16. Perseverance - because without this, I wouldn't be here right now. I wouldn't be happy if I didn't see this until the end. From the very low points in my 21st year to the skyrocketing improvement now that I'm 22, this is all because I persevered.

15. Principles - that I have due to it that if I didn't stand by what I believe in I would still probably be stuck in a place where I was itching to get out of. I am thankful for principles has been instilled in me for it keeps me grounded.

14. Hope - because I was so close to losing it but it's still here. I continue to hope.

13. Health - because with the lack of number 18, the mere fact that I'm not yet dead is a sheer miracle. [Of course, I'm exaggerating...I think] Nevertheless, I am thankful for my health that I am still well and that I would continue to be.

12. Employment - because it's something that not everyone would have. I'm happy in my current company because despite the long work hours at least all of it is compensated both by triumphs and finances. I'm glad I'm employed and am with a great company.

11. Promotion - not necessarily due to the compensation but more of the recognition that you performed well and are worthy of that recognition by your peers and superiors. It's like graduation all over again.

10. CompetiTEAM - because they are such great people! I enjoy work because they are there. I am glad that they've got my back and I've got theirs. I could have not asked for a better team.

Though this is not only for my core team but for the people that we work with and I've gotten to know. I admire you all for your great work ethic and for the patience you've shown me as I improve myself and learn the skills necessary to become an asset in this company. Moreover for bearing with me as I keep asking questions. XD

9. Noreen and Mai - because no matter how much time passes these two understand me to the core. [I miss you both!]

8. Bookclub - they have been there through the confusion of puberty. The pains of growing up and of course the support in the real world. They have accepted me for all the craziness and weirdness in me. For giving me the best conversations and real love. [I will see you guys in December?]

7. Chicas - cause no matter how diverse we are, we most definitely are made to be friends. From the stress of college to the stress of the real world, I wouldn't have been where I am now if not for my chicas.

Then and Now

6. Pointy Points - because they have been such a blessing to me. Putting up with me and opening their doors to me. Gian to all points: you do not know how grateful I am for all that you've done. [I promise to do chores on my next off XD]

5. Dad - because for his commitment to be a dad to us, no matter how hard the situation is. For being my confidant and best friend and my Father. Faja, I love you.

4. Siblings - because no matter what, we stick together. I maybe far away but I am affected. I am doing everything I am doing right now for things to get better. My soulmates since birth, I want you guys to know I love you and that I promise to do the best that I can to make things better.

with our best buds since diapers XD

3. Love - because without this, I would probably be a very bitter, angry and hostile person. I would never know what it is to have someone stand beside you until you came into my life and really just stood by me through all the hell that has been raised against us. As I've always said, real love and real food what more can I ask for? [Thanks for cooking and waking me up XD]

2. Courage - because without that first step I would have never ever have started walking on my own.

1. God - for guiding me and watching over me and just being there. I don't think I would even be writing this if He didn't allow it so. For all the wisely unanswered prayers, thanks Big G.

And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, would be 22. Good night!

Sundays: Our New Day

2010-08-02T03:12:00.001+08:00

I've been way to tired to blog lately. Big things happening at work that has been keeping me busy and moving about. [Plus the fact that I'm sniffling for the past week doesn't help either.] Well, at least we ended on a high note last week! Go Team!

Moving on.

Despite everything that's been happening to my serious side of life, I'm glad to say that all the others areas seem to balance out all the work I actually do. So here are some quick updates:

Sorcerer's Apprentice Syndrome: Last week, Arckham and I decided to catch The Sorcerer's Apprentice. [Instead of The Last Airbender for reasons we will blog about later on.] This was after church, which we now do regularly. Moreover, I loved this day because we went on a date-DATE which we don't get to do a lot anymore. To top it all off, a long kwentuhan session at Starbucks. *le sigh* I totally loved feeling like and being treated like a princess for a day. :P

The Company GA: Yay for company paid day outs. I am so glad to say that I think I found a place where I will last a very long time. Besides getting to swim [which is something I totally love doing] I also find that people here have great tastes in music. My music geekiness has found a home. *big smile*
Start of the Month: So today being the start of the month, I think it started well. The house is beginning to shape up which is great, everything is beginning to fall into place here. I also love that despite the very hectic week last week, Arckham and I were able to do some unwinding and a little bonding. What I loved about this day the most is the new flavors out for the DQ Blizzard: Strawberry and Chocolate Cheesecake. YUM! [Go grab one!]

This post is titled Sunday: Our New Day because it's the only day that our off days from work fall on the same day. Back in college, Friday nights was our bonding time since it was the only time I used to get off work early. Now, it's Sundays and it's my one day refueling day for the rest of the coming week.

Moreover, I hope to be back blogging decent posts again soon.

Everyone, have a good week ahead. Let's start this month right! :D

Commuter's Thoughts 2: The 1990's

2010-07-25T13:38:00.000+08:00

Right about a week ago, I was on a cab on my way to church. The rain was pouring lots and traffic was horrible. The ever reliable Manong Driver turned on his radio. And guess what hit me?

How am I supposed to leave you now
When you're looking like that?
I can't believe what I just gave away
Now I can't take it back
I don't wanna get lost
I don't wanna live my life without you
How am I supposed to leave you now
When you're looking like that?

Yes, besides the fact that it was a pop song [which I am not very fond of] , that song was playing on a Sunday! *le gasp*

I grew up with the impression that Sunday radio would cater to the older groups' tastes. Stuff from the 70's and 80's would be playing on Sundays, so I don't listen to the radio on Sundays when I much younger [And besides, the radio thought my favorite genre wasn't airtime worthy]. At the moment as the song finished on the taxi's radio, I realized, the only time I will be able to actually recognize majority of the songs being played will be on Sundays.

Quoting Kuya:

"There is a thing as the 90's now."

Ah yes, I am old. So to all the kiddies out there and my generation, a little something from the 90's:

Yes, this was two decades ago.

Enjoy your Sunday radio.

Commuter's Thoughts 1: Lolo

2010-07-17T05:06:00.005+08:00

Since, I spend about a good two hours on jeeps as my daily routine. Despite my having music pumping into my system during those times, I still seem to reach a point where my mind would be composing photographs. [Yes, I need a camera again soon.] According to popular belief, photographs probably better express what words would not be able to convey accurately. [This doesn't deter me from trying though.]

Anyway, about two days ago, I was riding the jeep on my way to work. As usual, everyone was in a hurry. Upon reaching the general Ortigas Area, a bunch of the commuters got off. An old man, sad beside me. He was in a white polo, slacks and old leather shoes. He had a paper bag with him, filled with a couple of DVDs and a pen attached to a booklet. [Detailed isn't it? Yes, I was composing a photograph. *belat*]

Then this lolo [what we generally call old men in our country relatively as a sign of respect] pulled out the booklet which was apparently filled crossword puzzles. As I watched him complete two puzzles with great accuracy, I couldn't help but admire this lolo. He just made me realize a few things: 1) I suck at crosswords, 2) this lolo was one smart man, [at the speed he completed the puzzles, I commend him] and 3) there is this sense of serenity in what he was doing. He smiles after accomplishing a puzzle.

He can do that in the middle of all this:

by c.flessen

I say serenity because in this city where moving fast and being in a hurry is part of the lifestyle. There is a man that has the time to ignore all that finish a puzzle and show a girl like me that life isn't all about getting to work. I saw that there are still simple pleasures in life. [Imagine that?]

As he left the jeep, I thought to myself that someday, I would like to pause in the middle of it all and stop worrying about getting to point B and doing something fulfilling along the way as well.

Charles Dickens, Huh?

2010-07-15T23:11:00.003+08:00

I know the sudden updates in my blog is quite shocking for most of you, but truth be told this is one of the things that is keeping me sane. [Or rather convincing me that I have a life outside work. Or that our targets have been doubled but it's not big deal. Or....]

Well, anyway, I found this on my timeline at plurk. I decided to try it out and my result is:

I write like
Charles Dickens

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

Oh and this is the piece I had them analyze.

*feels important*

So give it a try and let's me know what you got. :D

There's Something About The Rain

2010-07-15T02:28:00.002+08:00

So Basyang was quite a fright! I literally couldn't sleep despite having my MP3 player in my ears. The winds and the sheets of pouring rain kept me up. [They were trying to knock our wall down, I swear.] If there's one thing I am not yet prepared to handle, it is a Ondoy/Pepeng-like catastrophe.

As with Manila weather, it tends to scare you at night then the next morning, it's all sunshine. Oh well, at least we were allowed to dress down in the office.

There is one good thing that made very happy with this recent storm: My travel time went back to normal!

You see, lately, there have been an increase in deployment of traffic enforcers in my route to work. I already leave my place an hour and a half early and what annoys me is that I still cut it close to being late. I know they're just doing their jobs but the time intervals between the waits on each traffic enforcer would have an estimated total time of 30 mins. I don't think they're helping ease traffic at all. If at all I think they're creating the traffic. [I don't like being late for work, especially if I've exerted all effort to get there early.]

So to all the traffic enforcers out there: please do either 1) a better job at coordinating among yourselves, or 2) just assist motorist when needed. I think the reason why people would have a license to drive is because they would be able to assess the situation on the road and respond accordingly. [At least, that's how I am.] Nevertheless, it's rush hour, people tend to move faster and make better decisions if it's for their good and usually that works for everyone. I prefer you to be there when it doesn't work.

The only reason I really see why we have traffic is that the traffic lights, as compared to the traffic enforcers, are more coordinated than the enforcers are, hence, traffic lights are better at managing the car inflow.

So to Basyang, despite your tantrum during the evening, I do thank you for giving me a good morning. I hope next time you let me have a decent night's sleep too. XD

Dear God...

2010-07-12T23:33:00.000+08:00

I went to church. After the longest time, I went to church. I'm so happy I actually did. It felt like... well, coming home. It felt like a great big warm hug about my spirit.

For the past three months, I wasn't as capable as I am now to go around. [I didn't have any source of income then] So what I do is that I just pray a lot and as usual journal a lot. I may not be the most spiritually confessing person but yes, let me say for the record that I believe in God.

Let me share a song that has been keeping me hopeful and strong the past few months. Every time I felt unsure this song helped point me towards the right direction.

Anyway, I'm a myriad of contradictions and I believe that's very human of me. I may not be the goody two shoes but I know where I stand. The trip to church last Sunday marks my thanking My Papa up there for watching over me the past few months. I'm now steady on my feet again and I couldn't ask for anything more.

There was something the pastor said last Sunday that really stuck with me.

"I'm thankful for all the prayers God didn't answer."

That made perfect sense to me. I mean I can't even imagine where I'd be right now God answered all my prayers.[Or how the world would manage to survive. I have a very active imagination especially regarding getting out of home work in the past. *laughs*]

But of course, above all things, I will always be grateful for the prayers He did answer.

The Might of a Maroon

2010-07-04T20:08:00.003+08:00

Woohoo! Kudos to DSLU for the video.

I just love how they presented the Fighting Maroons. I know we don't win alot [in the men's basketball that is] but I still love our team.

Make this Maroon proud!

Great, Good and Bad News

2010-06-10T17:28:00.003+08:00

A lot of things are new as of today. I personally always want good news first. [Yeap, I'm not that stereo typical nice girl that always wants happy endings. Doesn't this line come from a movie somewhere?]

Anyway, the great news is I just signed my contract with my new company. [Yes, I've already done my jumping up and down.] I'm super excited to start working again. I'm currently completing my pre-employment requirements. [I'm nearly done actually.]

I went about today to the different government agencies to get my requirements done. I stopped by the NBI (National Bureau of Investigation) to get my NBI Clearance. It just happens that in the city I am located in the NBI offices are currently missing. So, I had to head to a neighboring city. The process was relatively less harsh than I thought. [Or I'm just a veteran of pila sa init or queuing in the heat as is with my Alma Mater.] The sad thing is with a name as complicated and as long as mine, I'd still get a namesake! *shocking*

I have to wait a week to get the clearance. Gah!

This couldn't get my spirits down still. I'm still very thankful for all those who prayed for me and for the work that I now have.

The good news is I present to you:

President Benigno "Noynoy" Aquino III

and

Vice President Jejomar Binay

They are the new leaders of our country. I hope that they both lead well. I am glad with the turnout of the election on the national level. [Yes, I do feel a bit sad for Mar Roxas, he sacrificed so much for this year. Good things will come to you, Mar.]

To the President: I hope you do not let us down. Those of us who campaigned, trusted, supported and voted for you. May you lead with wisdom and may you be the change and not merely be a symbol for change in our country.

On Baguio politics: I don't have much to say. It's out with the new and in with the old. [Can't blame Baguio, the new didn't do as well as we hoped.]

The bad news is that there was a fire at UP! This I found out just now and it was all over the social networks I frequent.

A fire of undetermined origin razed the Palma Hall Pavilion II of the University of the Philippines in Diliman, which houses the university’s chemistry laboratories, close to midnight Wednesday... more

OMG, the laboratories! *flashback to undergrad classes at Palma and ChemPav* UP will get through this. I know so. *sings: matatapang, matatalino, di patalo kahit kanino...*

Anyway, over all, it's been good lately.

Rolling

2010-06-05T01:39:00.001+08:00

Yeap, the last post was something way deep. So, here's something lighter on the head.

I added a blogroll. It's on the utmost right side of this blog. It's entitled Staring at Clouds.

This are the blogs or sites that I frequent and am entertained by on occasion. So if you want me to include your blog or site in there feel free to leave a comment and let me go check out your blog.

Yes, unfortunately I cannot guarantee your getting into the list, but I'll sure give your read a try.

So link exchange anyone? Let's get things rolling.

Don't Just Dream

2010-06-04T19:07:00.000+08:00

I miss blogging. I actually told myself that I'd start blogging again when I have stable internet access. Lo and behold, I apparently can manage having stable internet access. [Thank you my sponsors: Smart Bro, Sammy, Toshi and Ingen.] Not as often as when I had Enso with me but well enough manageable.

Anyway, I've taken the first step into achieving a big dream but first I have had to let smaller dreams to come to pass. Among those small dreams was a dream of freedom from fear, being hurt and being belittled. A dream that started about June last year. A small dream that has now come to pass.

Yes, isn't it fortunate? Perhaps, but a lot of it wasn't just fortune. There was drive, determination and sooner than expected the diminishing amount of fear I felt. It's hard to be in a situation where you aren't heard, where people label you without bothering to listen to you, where you're already nothing and not given a chance to be something and most specially when you are told every single day that you will never amount to anything. It's a very hard, sad and hurtful situation. Yet, with a little love, a little hope, a little dream and a whole lot of faith, believe me you will come out strong.

I did.

I've been free for about a month and a half now. You see, I took that step. I took that step into the unknown trusting that God will watch over me. and He has. He really has. I left the place where the fear in me was planted, nurtured and is still trying to reach me.

Of course, it is not a miracle [though I still feel and believe it is] that my dream had come to pass. There are casualties, Enso and Demitri. Though, I know there will be better and better will come. Life is manageable now, not great, not quite yet, but it is far more that what I could have asked for. For that, I am grateful.

The most important lesson I've learned from all this is that, dreams don't just come to pass. You have to act on them. You have to make that first step. If you don't, you never will know what it could be. I believe that dreams are there as a way of God telling you that He still believes in you. He still is all for you. He still loves you. No matter what they all say.

It hurts me that others are still in that place of fear and that they are being pushed down by the very people that should help them up. How can I blame those people who do not wish to see, they are afraid too.

I've smiled more now despite things being hard. I cry too, it's not always as happy as it should be, but I am glad we are trying to be happy. I hope they smile sometimes too.

As I start to act on my bigger dream, I urge you to as well. Don't just dream, act on it.

I'm still smiling. I'll keep smiling. After all, this year, I will be happy.

My Graduation March: The Finale

2010-05-12T03:45:00.002+08:00

So what can I say about it?

Cons: The college grad was rather sabog [unorganized]. I think last year's was better prepared for. The University Grad is the University grad aka hot, under the sun and guest seating rather sabog as well.

Pros: It's my graduation march, who cares about the cons.

Anyway, here are a few pictures from the College Graduation. I still can't seem to find that lady that took the pics on University Grad. Darnit!

It was memorable for a whole different reason, but it marks and end and a new beginning. A new life.

Still my thanks to my Alma Mater for the strength, lessons and training not only for the real world but for real life.

Turning In Two a Girl

2010-05-02T02:48:00.000+08:00

Last April 23 marks my second year as a girl. *applause*

Wait! Don't get me wrong. I have always been a bona fide biological female. [I have proof! :P ] Though, I've only turned into a girl right about two years ago.

It started out with a simple exchange of texts between me and Arckham. Friendly dates happened too. An incident involving my laptop and his anti-virus. Then there were taking chances. Then a decision of a lifetime was made. Then there were lots [and I mean LOTS] of trials that came our way.

It's been two years that I have experienced the love, support, understanding and acceptance that I have waited 19 years for. [For these I thank you, Miracle.]

I also learned a lot about myself.

Prior to two years ago, I was a boy. [Ask anybody I know.] I played online games, got into brawls [before I entered college that is], trash talked like a boy, hung out with guys more often than girls, tinkered with cars, and I most definitely dressed like a boy too. [The complete set of shirt, rubber shoes and jeans.] Yes, I still got my fair share of suitors prior and more than enought crushes, but I was still in essence a guy. [I played DOTA and trash talked like the best of them too.]

One of Arckham's pride and joy is that I give him credit for "turning me into a girl". I now choose my outfits with earnest instead of randomly pulling shirts out like I used too. I am relatively conservative in style. I wear earrings and accessorize now. I also am learning what the different girl's shoes are called. I'm not as lost in the female section as I was anymore. [Can you imagine what my office attire would be had I not turned into a girl?]

I'm not saying that these traits I've picked up are in essence what makes me a girl. I've also learned to be more patient, understanding and more... motherly. I learned to care most of all. About the way I carry myself, talk, move, dress and how I relate with others. Most importantly, I learned to love and be loved.

So here's to all the skirts, shorts and tops I own and to two years of holding on and growing for the better.

I'm looking forward to more years to come. As I continue to be a girl and a girlfriend.[then hopefully a wife.*wink*]

Happy 2nd Anniversary, Miracle! Let's keep holding on.

My Graduation March: The Overture

2010-04-22T00:44:00.000+08:00

As this event progresses into my Baccalaureate finale, I am glad to say that so far I have accomplished two out of the three tasks that I need done before the weekend regarding the Grad March.

Arckham helped me secure a Sablay to wear [Thank you dearest!] and I've already attended the practice and pay the Php 200.00 they were requiring. So, all that is left is the dress and shoes. I will hopefully acquire them by Friday. [Otherwise, I am screwed.]

Anyway, I was also able to hang out with Arckham and we were able to catch up on a lot of things. I also saw some other batch mates from the same course and that was fun. It feels so long since I've seen my block. [I seriously miss those people.]

As everything is being set in motion this week, I cannot help but feel a little apprehension. Though ultimately, I am at peace. I am praying for the best transitions and plans this week. [Pray with me please.]

Oh and before I go, do you think 500 pesos for 10 shots is too expensive? [This is for the official photographers on the weekend.]

Misadventures: Getting Lost

2010-04-19T13:36:00.001+08:00

I've lived in Baguio nearly all my life. [So, don't blame me if I'm itching to leave. *sighs*]

Anyhow, I've always had a good sense of direction and I think I knew this town like the back of my hand. Thing is a few days ago on my way home, I got lost. *laughs* Funny isn't it? Thank you for the surprise, Baguio.

Apparently, there are now two sets of jeeps marked with the general area of my house. One set misses my road and brings you to the middle of nowhere. The other set passes by my road and directly in front of my house. I rode the wrong jeep.

At first it was fine, I mean they will pass close to my house on the way back. So, I decided to wait out my ride. I was looking about and started marking where I was. [Me to myself: This is good, you know that house. This is Furguson. Everything's fine.] After convincing myself I wasn't lost, the jeep hit a dirt road. That's when I finally admitted, I was frickin' lost.

When the jeep stopped, I was atop a cliff. I am thankful though that the driver didn't force me out of his jeep and make me walk. He took me back to a street parallel to my house. [Thank you, Manong Driver. I appreciate it.]

Truth be told, I love getting lost. You experience a place differently cause you don't have a guide or a preliminary impression on the place. Plus, the adrenaline and nervousness make for an interesting combination. This is what first explorers felt and novelty of that feeling is rarely felt nowadays. I actually love that feeling, and that's why I'm inclined to travel and get lost more often. [It's how I got around and discovered places in Metro Manila and gained confidence as a commuter. Moreover, a jeepney strike is a commuter's adventure scheduled.]

I got home after an hour of my impromptu adventure. At least now I know what's at the end of the trail. Haha.

My Graduation March: The Prelude

2010-04-19T00:54:00.001+08:00

Yes, I graduated last year. Yes, I am sure. So let me explain.

I am a summer graduate and at the university I attended they only have graduation marches on April of every year. Hence, I had to wait a year to march. [Technically, I find it unnecessary but my dad asked me to. And well, I love my dad.] So, I'm finally marching this weekend. I think it will put a nice period on the whole Baccalaureate chapter of my life.

As with every graduate, I should have the following prepared:

Beige, White or Ecru dress that has sleeves and cuts below the knee ala Filipiniana. [aka something conservative]
Sablay [My Alma mater doesn't believe in togas and the hat tossing thing, hence we have our sablay, which is really meaningful.]
Php 200.00 on or before the practice this Tuesday. [Cause apparently they increased the rates. *sighs*]

Yes, I should have the above ready. I don't, but I'll get working on that sometime really soon.

I'm making a lot of plans after this week, I just hope everything goes as smoothly as possible. God be with me.

Cheap Burgers

2010-04-16T14:07:00.000+08:00

A couple of days ago, me and my sister went out to get her confirmation kit from the university she'll be attending.

Lots of bonding ensued, talked about anything and everything under the sun. I was craving for burgers that day. Specifically the cheap ones close to our old high school. So we headed there and I got myself two. My sister didn't want any. I understood since she just graduated. I miss this from five years ago. *laughs*

Safe to say I noticed the amount increased most likely due to inflation. Those burgers just used to cost about Php 12.00. Nowadays it's about Php 16.00. So about a peso increase since the time I graduated from high school. I guess that's reasonable.

So why am I blabbing on about this? [Cause I want to and] Basically because I love food. I am a certified muncher. I crave for random things at random times. Moreover, I'm a very simple person when it comes to food. I'm not out for the gourmet restaurant serving all the time. I'm also not to picky with the things I eat. If it tastes good and very affordable, I'd eat there more often.

With trip scheduled next week for the Metro, I'm looking forward to food tripping at UP. Yum. I can't wait.

Sunrise Til Noon

2010-04-15T23:33:00.001+08:00

First and foremost, April 1, 2010 would have been the first time I've woken up at 4 am since highschool. [I am definitely NOT a morning person, hence waking up early is a feat.] Why was I up so early? Well, I had a photo shoot with a couple of Adings [This is what we call the younger batches.] from my high school.

It was a pretty cool shoot. We started out with catching the sunrise at Minesview View Deck. My first time to catch the sunrise since camping activities in high school. What makes this sunrise special is that, I had a camera with me. *laughs* We also had a chance to take some portraits of Ading J who R kidnapped to be our model.

The sunrise was glorious. The way it permeated the cloudy grey morning and slowly rise into the sky was breathtaking. The rays were wonderful too cause they seemed so soft. It was definitely a good morning from God.

Anyway, as the morning matured, more tourists came to we kinda had to get away. Crowded tourists spots is definitely not a good shooting location. I also don't like crowds. So, we had a quick breakfast in McDonald's Session Road before heading to Botanical Garden (now known as Centennial Park) [It will forever be known as Botanical Garden to me.] We took still life shots and also a lengthy portraiture of Ading J who was a very cooperative model. It was great working with her.

Last stop for the day was in John Hay's Secret Garden and the Bell Amphitheater. This is where we took a voluminous amount of action shots. Our fellow photographer, who happens to also be a member of the Philippine Taekwondo Team, provided us with some very interesting mid-air action shots.

We ended the day with a lunch in the new Jollibee in Harrison Road. We were all happy with the shoot and we also all very very sleepy.

Since, I upload only once a month. The output will have to wait 'til the first week of May. Keep and eye out for those pictures.

Welcome, Alumnus!

2010-04-14T00:06:00.002+08:00

Today we received my sister's confirmation kit from the university she's going to be attending. [Thank yous to Arckham for walking her papers] There was a lot to think about in that package. Especially since the university she's attending is one of the top universities in this country and it's NOT cheap. At all. [Yes, I am going to help send her to school. Oh the responsibility of the eldest. *le sigh*]

I also can't believe my sister's in college. That means, only my little brother left and we start making our own lives. Another realization is that I am OLD but still shorter than them all. *laughs*

Even if I've been with her as she ends her last year in high school. The fact that she's growing up too is sinking in just about today when we got the kit from V-liner.

I can't believe how much "tips" [a booklet full] a university gives to "prepare" a high school graduate to the life of a college freshman. I'd like to say to those that prepare all these things, you never know what they need. Every transition will be different, that's what makes freshmen year exciting.

Anyway, she graduated from high school last March 31, 2010. I just want to congratulate her and welcome her to the world of being an alumnus from the high school we attended.

Ate is proud of you sis! Love you!

Emotional Blogging vs. Inspiration

2010-04-12T23:24:00.000+08:00

I actually used to be a very emotional blogger and by emotional I mean every spark of anger, moment of hate or instance of irritation I have. I share it with the world as soon as I can blog about it. Well, not only the bad things but the good emotions too: happiness, giddiness and excitement. One person actually told me that I am no emotional genius. [I tend to agree with this still, but I am learning.]

In this blog, I'm not trying to be that anymore. I started this blog to help me look at the silver linings without necessarily neglecting the black clouds they hide behind. I started this blog because I wanted to start caring and start controlling my emotions. This blog helps me to aim higher and not sink lower. This blog gives me hope. [Warfreak still? A little bit.]

So, what I do now is write down all the things I can think of blogging when a bit of emotion or inspiration comes along. I have a small notepad for that. Then I give it a day or so then look at that list again. I cross out what I don't feel strongly about anymore and pursue those items that still stick.

This is also the way I differentiate between flighty emotions and inspiration. I find that flighty emotions don't last and that inspiration does. The day I keep away from the list gives me time to think things over. Reflect on the emotions I'm feeling. After all, words said in anger are still words.

I think this is a more mature me. No longer a flighty teenager or a stressed college student.

I'm growing up.

Fighting Back And Fighting Fear

2010-04-09T19:01:00.001+08:00

The world is not all flowers and sunshine. I'm old enough to know that. Same way there is a difference between being child like and childish; innocent and naive.

Some people go through this behind closed doors for the fear of judgement from the outside world. Domestic violence is the most neglected violence in my opinion. It is also the hardest to come out strong from. Imagine abuse since one was a child. [Hard isn't it?] Scar atop scar. Pain atop pain.

We have no right to judge them for their action based on our ideal views. They just defend themselves from bad parents. Remove the fact that they are parents, most of us would run to the aid of the child. The only thing a bad parent does is instill fear. Not respect. Or love. Fear. [Not a very good parenting strategy I must say.]

When the child no longer fears you? What do you do then? Sooner or later fear will run out. Respect and Love, those never do.

For the author's note: I'm not inclined to write about all sunshine and no rain. Every artist knows that usually the best pieces come out not from happy endings but reality, status quo and bad beginnings. Well in my case anyway.

Blog readers, this is the piece.

Arrange the Following: Love, Things, Use, People

2010-04-09T17:30:00.001+08:00

*Taking a break from the Tumblr updates.*

In the materialistic world we live in the answer to this blog's title would probably be: Love Things and Use People. [Yeap, no change in the arrangement cause everyone would be to busy running after things to even bother thinking about this.]

Let's start with loving things.[C'mon, don't tell me you don't love a certain object at this very moment?] Most of use probably couldn't live without, in the least, a cellphone. Yes, we probably will tell people it's a necessity and that we don't love it. A fact of life. Then again, when it drops to the ground someone is at fault. Your anger flares! If anger towards the person is the first thing you feel, you most likely love that thing.

What about sentimentality? Well, I think sentimentality is well and good, as long as you don't loose sight that it is still an object. After all wouldn't you rather have a relationship to whoever that object is associated with than keeping that object forever? [I would.]

Now onto using people. This is rampant in today's society. Especially in this capitalistic world, the work force is just a pool of people to be used. Honestly, out of all the bad things I find present in society's everyday routine, using people is what I find most hurtful. The simple thing of your friend being a friend only in time of prosperity, partying and good times. If they fall into bad times, you don't even bother to lend a hand. *tsk tsk*

Admittedly, I know how it is to feel used. I worked and gave a lot of effort when I didn't want to do evil bidding, they hired someone who will. Well, I don't like being used. [Leaving was the best decision I could have made and I did.] Then there are the insecure doormats who are more than happy to be used just to be paid and chase after the things they love.

The right answer: Love People and Use Things.

If we love people more than things, we find that no matter what state we're in we have friends who will be there. If we use things for the progress and improvement of both relationships and society, we could go far in life.

I'll keep practicing this. I'll keep loving people and using things.

Tumbling Back Into Tumblr

2010-04-09T15:19:00.000+08:00

Of course, it was not only my blog that I've neglected while dealing with work but also my photography.

I was so hard to find time and squeeze in some shooting time. I missed my camera and now I am bonding with it as much as I can.

Anyway, I'm updating my tumblr account as of today. I have quite a lot to upload, so I really am sorry for the flood on your feeds for those following me. I also hope that I can get to write some fiction and not just upload photos over there. I basically use tumblr as a portfolio of the works I've done both in photography and writing.

Pop on over to tumblr and enjoy the randomness of that social network.

Over Compensation

2010-04-08T23:39:00.000+08:00

I am trying to get back into the habit of blogging. So, I'm trying to make it a point to write as much as I can when I can. So far I think it's going well. [Yes, I hope the quality of my posts do not degrade with respect to the quatity of posts I make.]

Recently, I was able to meet up with a friend that I hadn't seen in a long time. We had coffee and just caught up with what's happening in each other's lives which is well and good. Lots of drama on my end and he is graduating. [Congratulations, W!]

Arckham and I were having a little issue then. [Worry not, we already talked about it.] So, W, being the present guy friend with substantial amount of relationship experience, gave me some relevant advice. [Thank you!]

Though that wasn't the highlight of the conversation in my opinion, it was the topic of over compensation. Apparently, W prefers girls who do not overcompensate. He defines it as using skimpy clothes to compensate for the lack of brain power. [You know, more skin equals less brain] This is quite shocking for me, since this actually makes sense. It's also good to know some guys just don't go for looks. [which I think is rare in the age of Sex Bomb and Wowowee girls. I never like those groups. *Shiver*]

I hope more dudes think about this before jumping into courting girls based on looks. I also hope ladies nowadays also know that guys are also looking for substance and they should too.

After all, invest in your brain. It should be your greatest asset.

Mechs

2010-04-07T23:45:00.001+08:00

Well, one thing I love about Arckham is that he fosters my geekiness. [Honestly, I think he is geekier than I.]

Anyway, the latest thing he has gotten himself into is GunPla modeling. You know, all those expensive robots from the Gundam Series you father refuses to buy for you when you were a kid? Yes, he's into that.[Can't blame him though, he has purchasing power now.]

Arckham has been modeling for about a year now. He tried to get me into it around our anniversary last year. To do that, he bought me an HG 1/144 Overflag. Safe to say, Overflag and I have issues to resolve. [It's appendages kept falling off.] I kept away from GunPla since then.

In this post, I told you guys about the day we spent in his house just geeking. He let me panel line a kit he was working on. Seeing him work, I learned to appreciate the craft more. Moreover, we got me a HG 1/144 GN Archer which I am working on now.

This is built just out of the box.

I also joined MechaPinoy. It's the community where Arckham is learning how to properly master his craft. I am now learning from them too. [MechaPinoy peeps, I hope to meet you guys in the future.] It's actually been a long time since I last connected to an online geek community, so this is breathe of fresh air.

I already have a plan and have an end product in mind about Archer. I'm excited on how this will turn out. I'll post updates in Arxy about this project.

Oleander Time

2010-04-07T18:04:00.001+08:00

"How many people ask you to come share their life?"
- Janet Fitch; Astrid from White Oleander, 1999.

This book is inching it's way up my favorites list. It might just end up on the top and be called My Favorite Book. *gasp*

Traditionally, I don't have favorite books, Mainly because it's just so hard to choose from among them which is why the prospect of having a Favorite book is something that is near milestone in importance.

Anyway, this is the second time I've read White Oleander, it was a present from K for Christmas 2007. We share a love for great books. It was written by Janet Fitch. [If you could recommend any other book by this author that is worth the read, comment!]

The characters are very vivid especially that of Astrid. It's about a dysfunctional mother-child relationship. One between a poet mother and a visual artist of a daughter. The mother kills one of her lovers and Astrid goes through the system of foster care that's where it begins.

I love the way the author uses words in this book. The metaphors and the rawness of emotion is balanced very well. The misadventures of Astrid and the reality of how human beings relate to someone not of their own reinforces the idea that you are all you can depend on. The moment you find another to be your co-captain in life you are one of the blessed few.

This book always seems to give me my fighting spirit back. I mean I haven't been shot, starved or have scavenged, her spirit didn't break despite all that and she found her way, perhaps so can I. It also assures me that it'll be okay no matter what.

It's still your life, even when you're not in control. It's what you choose to do at that moment that matters.

Oh and lastly, I can relate to the mother daughter dynamic. Since, I think that's my biggest struggle currently.

Doormats and Snakes

2010-03-29T22:03:00.000+08:00

"You're only a doormat if you feel like one."

Here comes the reason why I haven't paid much attention to my online life. I had a job. Yes, you read that right. It's in the past tense.

I worked from January to March. I didn't even have to finish the entire month of March.

Before I go to the resignation [Yes, I resigned. I am very good at what I do and I absolutely will not allow myself to be fired]and why it happened, I want to first look back on the good things.

I was in the field of Human Resources, the career I really want and plan to pursue. I was really glad I got this job. It was a start up company, and I got to sink my teeth into it. Develop, test, evaluate and implement what I learned from school and from my own research. I was excited and I wanted to give no less than a 110%.

The company is basically an outbound contact center. I first want to say that I loved the people I met there. I learned so much about the realities of working in the corporate world. I'm happy I met them and got to stay with them in this crossroad in time. I got to love the field I committed to more because of them. I like to help people. I like to know more about them and give them the best the company can offer so that they can be the best at what they do. It's a philosophy I hold and it works both for the company and the employees.

Then why did I resign? It's because there are things I stand for.

An excerpt from my notice:

"Again, I would like to thank you for everything. Despite my short engagement with *company* I have learned more about myself. What I’m willing to stand for and what principles I am not willing to compromise and these I believe is one of the best things about this experience. I am thankful for all the people I have met in this company and have worked with for I know they are good people. I pray that God bless you and your endeavors despite us going separate ways."

It's hard to implement something right if the people at the top of the ladder refuse to do so [and maybe they also have no respect for what the Philippine Law affords its people. You are not in your own country. Respect our soil by respecting our Laws]. Moreover I was placed at risk. My name and my reputation was place on the stake. [If you think this is overacting, it's not. I could go to jail with what they had me do.] If that wasn't enough, backstabbing was going on. Imagine this, I was working for the position I held and then I find out that I was seemingly demoted behind my back? This new girl comes in and acts all over me like she was better. [You're a frickin agent in you last job for frickin' sake]

The thing I hated the most was that they kept rubbing it in that I was young. The thing is education levels out experience nowadays. It was fun watching the new girl sink into my shoes after my resignation. She even had to ask me when the deadlines of the government agencies were. If she was oh so experience, she should know that already. I ask, where's your years of experience now? And how dare you talk to me as if I have done nothing for this company. You snaked your last company by copying its guidebook. I may be evil at some points in my life but I won't go as far as hurting others on purpose.

Yes, I am frustrated, insulted and very much hurt. Then again, what should I expect there was a lack in integrity of word.

Truth be told, when I submitted my resignation letter I was ultimately at peace, because I was standing up for me. I just feel sorry for the people that I can no longer protect. For that, I am sorry but I can no longer lie for a company that doesn't bother to pay right either.

This was a learning experience and I am still grateful for it. Doormats are stepped on to get your feet clean. I refuse to be a doormat. I know I am far better than that. As for snakes, they are everywhere but I remember I am much bigger than them. I am not afraid to do what's right and to have some self respect.

Of course, I protected myself. I had them amend everything they did wrong in my name. Otherwise, I would have gone to the authorities. I also took everything that is rightfully mine. If they fulfilled thier part of the bargain, I don't know. I'll let karma, God and the basic laws of the universe do what it wills. I know there is better for me.

This is where I close the chapter of that first job and I take the good things with me and leave snakes and doormats behind.

This is Real

2010-03-29T20:54:00.000+08:00

After not seeing each other for nearly three months. We finally got a chance to see each other.

I was down in the Metro to do school stuff and fix up my BIR/TIN forms. I hitched a ride getting there with my parents and sister. My mom, sis and I attended her JGSOM Ateneo thing in the morning. [Yes, I was evil and wore my UPD jacket the entire time. What? I don't bleed blue.] Then they left for Baguio in the afternoon.

I exited reality for awhile.

I hanged out at his place, got to see his siblings. We had a GunPla session. [GunPla is what he's into right now. It's Gundam model kit building.] We sanded, painted and panel lined a Gundam. [Not sure which Gundam, he has a ton of them] This may sound boring to you but this used to be a normal day for us. Geeking is something we use to regularly do before I got pulled back to Baguio. Now, we both appreciate this things more cause now thier special. The fact that we share the same space in this moment, doing our own thing is what makes our relationship distinct.

Anyway, when night time fell. We went to see some friends [yes drinks were involved] and I got to meet some of his officemates. I find it important to be part of the many worlds he has. The same way he is so ingrained into mine.

The next day, we hanged around my Alma Mater. Then did the grown up stuff I was suppose to do. Then headed to Greenhills to get me my first GundPla kit. Its a GN Archer HG 1/144. [Nosebleed? I used to have that now I know what those figures mean.]

I brought him to work and then got on the bus back to my [rather harsh] reality.

Something about being in a long distance relationship is that when you both are apart for so long, it doesn't feel like your relationship is real. Yes, proximity is important and that's what you learn to treasure when you are apart. So keeping communication lines open and being in tuned as much as you can even if you both are separated by distance still would not be enough at times. It will feel like it's not real. These short moments together feeling like stealing memories.

Our short time together felt like a dream, like time was way too fast and that time isn't enough. Though, I know and will always know that this is real.

That it is still real.

Tribute to Gabrielle Bouliane

2010-03-29T20:49:00.000+08:00

I miss writing poetry. It used to be a field I owned. [Perhaps, I shall start again.]

I also miss listening and reading poetry.

I got this off Sir Budjette Tan's DeviantArt journal.

RIP Gabrielle. You're already an angel.

Navi 2010

2010-03-29T20:47:00.000+08:00

I'm a planner person. I developed the habit of using a planner and planning things when I got into my second year in college. Mainly because I had to adjust to the demands [and volmunous amount of free time] college had to offer. I was no longer a freshman and it was my first year of practically living on my own. It was what kept me steady and kept me responsible to myself and for myself.

I was always the journaling type. The planner love just evolved since it made it more practical and easier to take note of what will happen and what happened in a day. It also helps that my Chicas [college barkada] are planner people too. We go as far as having planner sessions. It's near therapeutic for us.

Planners have become very important to me that when December of the current year I haven't purchased a planner for the coming year yet, I go into panic. [Laugh if you will, but it's true.] Yes, I also do not purchase just any planner it has to be by fate. Something that jumps from the book racks and into my conscience.

This year, my buddy of the year is the Navi 2010 planner.

The features that makes it a great buy:

It's inspired by travel;
It concentrates on goal setting;
It has great pictures and excerpts inserted;
It has an expense tracker; [This is important to me since I'm also a budget freak. I want to know where my money goes.]
It has enough unlined surfaces to write on;
Not to be undone it also has coupons;
It's only Php 510.00! [Though when buying a planner, price is no object to me.]

It won me over with this:

"Your life is your ship and we want to help you navigate it by reminding you to take stock of the present and by inspiring you to keep moving forward."

It's by Viviamo! Inc [Viviamo traslates to We live!] which is also the company responsible for the Belle De Jour planners. [Which I never am interested in since they're over girly. *Shiver*] It also donates to Mio. You can also learn a lot more about it from lifenavijournal.com.

2009 was definitely not the best year of my life and I want to shape my 2010. I start with planning it then moving towards what I write and what I envision.

Manifesto 2010

2010-03-29T20:04:00.001+08:00

It takes me about a month to look at the year that has been and learn. Then I let go and look forward to the year that is.

This is my Manifesto for 2010.

I, Xylith, hereby declare that this 2010 I will achieve the following in the different areas of my life:

Academic/Career: I will start a career in Human Resources specifically Training and Development and Employee Relations. I will start my walk towards having my own consultancy firm.

Personal/Self: I will learn something out of the office. I will improve my writing and photography which includes saving up for my own DSLR from the Nikon Corporation. I will start a book collection.

Love/Relationship: I will learn to be more responsible towards the decisions we make. I will be more sensitive, understanding and compromising. We will have better conversations through any medium.

Health: I will get to 115 lbs and maintain it. I will continue my Arnis preferably with Lightning Strike Arnis International. I will drink less, quit smoking and start to learn to cook real food.

Spiritual: I will attend church regularly. I will make an effort to read my bible and pray more often. I will listen and wait on the Lord. I will confess, tithe and grow in Him.

Family: I will keep in touch with my siblings and parents. I will be more positive towards my relationship with my mother. I will pray for my parents more often.

Social Circle: I will see my friends more often. I will go shopping with Ami, Aya, Iam and Mai whether as a group or as pairs. I will have double dates with taken and dating friends.

At the end of this year, I will be independent of my parents and will be respected for making my own decisions both in the family and the workplace. I would have been to three new places on my own expense. I would have maintained my blogs and different accounts.

Above all, I will be true to myself and never loose time for me. I will take it slow and smell the roses. I will enjoy life. I will know and love myself more. I will be happy.

Excerpt from my Navi 2010 planner.

Starting 2010

2010-03-29T19:58:00.000+08:00

It's been a long while since I last posted anything. I'll get to what kept me away from the net sooner or later. For now, I'll be taking you guys back in time by posting the drafts that I have saved. Enjoy.

Anyway, we started the year out with some sibling bonding. We spent the afternoon in SM Baguio just talking and walking around. Then we took group photos!

We've been doing this every year since I left to study in Manila about five years ago. It was something we did just before I left after Christmas Break. Apparently it just stuck.

I love my sibs.

Then we headed for New Year's Day Dinner at my grandma's house in Polofield. We basically just hung out with the youngest of our cousins on my father's side. I missed those little girls: M and M. :))

Yes, I am the eldest in my father's side. The ever present Ate.

All in all, it was a good start to the year.

Queue Time Thoughts

2009-12-30T01:39:00.000+08:00

I am now a registered voter! Woohoo!

I got up at 4am and headed to Comelec [it was friggin' cold]. I got a number then where I returned for the real line at 8 am. I stayed there til around 11:30. I was a registered voter as of noon! I was with my mom, she breezed through the process since she's a senior citizen and so did the pregnant ladies in line.

During the idle queue time, I realized a few things:

I'm semi-responsible of who is going to be ruling the Philippines for the next 6 years. I never realized the responsibility is that big.
I saw a couple of high school batch mates there, yes we didn't bother saying hi to each other. For some reason, I don't really bother keeping up with high school batch mates. I think I never really formed an affinity with them. Looking back, I liked high school but I didn't love it. I loved college though.
I am frustrated over Arckham being sick. I want him to take care of himself and I am pissed that he isn't.
Philippine television doesn't do reality justice. [Yes, this thought was totally random.]

After all that idle thinking, I did a little shooting too. Then met up with high school friends after. [These are the only people I bother to keep in touch with and they know me so well.] Breakfast and new boots cleaner courtesy of J [Thank you so much for the gifts!] and Lunch courtesy of working girl, L.

Christmas Loot 2009

2009-12-29T02:25:00.001+08:00

Well, thank you that people do notice my sleeping habits and have provided me with more ways to lengthen my sleeping hours. Yeap, my Christmas loot basically consisted of jammies, pillows and other sleeping garments. Though the gift that I love for this year is the time with friends, [Thank you so much peeps.] then of course the Navi2010 planner I got myself. [Planners are important to me such that if by December I don't have one I panic.]

Anyway, here's what happened during my Christmas Week:

December 24: Christmas Eve

We had guests over. My dad's clients, K and M, joined us for Christmas Eve. They are really interesting people. K has been all over the world studying and her husband, M, is just as well learned. I loved talking to them and listening to their insights about a lot of things [from Korea to the Philippines to drinking trivia]. Plus, M let me use his Nikon D90 [I want that cam!] and even let me borrow his lens to use on my D40 (a VR 18-200mm).

Of course, prior to all this me and my siblings prepared the feast. I prepared the Creamy Carbonara which was a success. I also prepared the ham and cheese. My brother, the real cook of the house, prepared beef steak with onions and sautéed in pineapples and its juice. My sister handled dessert with Macaroni Salad and Ref cake. Wine and Sangria courtesy of Mom and Dad. Damn, that was a good dinner.

December 25: Christmas Day

As usual, we had the family gathering here at our ancestral home. We basically played Rock Band, Wii Sports (Boxing), and ate a lot which is a staple during Christmas here. American cuisine for this year. I loved the Chicken Cordon Bleu. [Is that how you spell that?] Anyhow, I took lots of pictures and well, it was an okay event. I love my pamangkins!

December 27: Childhood and New Friends' Adventure

After nearly three years, we finally met up! I missed J.! Anyway, me and my siblings got together with our childhood friends, J and his sister, J. The original plan was to just meet up after dinner and have coffee, but hooray to A, a friend of J, who got us tickets to the Sitti Concert happening at the Baguio Country Club. Where I finally was able to give N a real hug. She also brought her guy V, so I met him as well.

We played table tennis at the BCC Recreation Center when the concert got boring and then I taught them a little photography so I have pictures for the evening. [Yay!] Anyway, pictures with artists and even got to chat with Sitti backstage.

We ended the night with coffee at Starbucks and documented J's first time there. [Thanks for the coffee dude.] I had a blast, never expected the night to turn into an adventure.

All in all it was a great week and I need to get those pictures sorted for uploading later this week. [I only upload pictures once a month and this is a picture filled month so I have to get cracking.]

Before I get cracking, I hope you all had a great Christmas and a Happy New Year!

A Season Of Celebrations

2009-12-24T02:57:00.008+08:00

Over the last weekend, two of the Chicas [what we call our college barkada] came up from the Metro. A. stayed over with me and A. stayed at another house with her boyfriend, P. So I'm here to narrate what happened:

Day 1: Catching up!

I pretty much just cleaned the house while waiting for A. to get to Baguio. She left Manila at around 10 in the morning and got here about 5 in the afternoon. I fetched her at the bus station then we headed home so that she could put her stuff down. She got dressed and we met up with A. and P. at SM for dinner at Volante where P. [A.'s ex boyfriend's friend that became our friend] met up with us.

After pizza, pasta and catching up over dinner, we headed to Citylights for drinks. This is where P. showed us a couple of magic tricks using a deck of cards. We talked about life, love and randomness which always is good with Gilbey's Premium. A. and I headed home then promptly fell asleep.

Day 2: Tourista Mode

I became the official tour guide. Since it's A. and P.'s first time here, we showed them around. We hit Burnham Park first cause it was the closest to the city center where we met up as they did a little ukay ukay shopping. Then lunch at 50's Diner. [I really love their shakes!] After which we took a cab to Minesview view deck and had A. ride a horse for picture taking sake. A short jeep ride to Mansion House and then a walk to Wright Park. [Ah yes the sights and smells of Baguio :)) ]

Then P., who was with family earlier, caught up with us. He and A. went to John Hay while me, A. and P. went to Oh My Gulay [I bumped into Kuya D. and Ate J! Real hugs!] and let them take pictures just before heading to church. After church, we were all treated to dinner at O'mai Khan by my mother who just turned 60 that day. P. was my birthday gift to her. I made him perform his magic.

After dinner, my family headed home and we headed to Nevada for drinks again. A., P. and I went home really late. A and P. sufficiently drunk, I was a good girl and only had two.

Day 3: Packing Away

We had lunch at Oh My Gulay and they did a little shopping. After which I brought them to the bus stop and they were on their way.

I miss them already! Though, I really did tell them this trip they made was really a gift to me as much as it was a gift to them. I hope A. moves on from her past and more power to A and P's relationship. It's really different when you're with real friends. I felt like no time has passed that we were apart, it's like a pause and play. We still all get each other and basically had a blast being just ourselves. I hope we get to do this again, [Davao daw next year? XD] but I'm just happy that we were able to get together. I had a blast and am again recharged to face my not so eventful life.

Thank you for the laughs, fun and serious moments, Chicas. See you soon!

Why The Title?

2009-12-22T01:34:00.005+08:00

I think it's only proper for me start a blog off by telling my readers what it will be about and why am I taking up their precious band width.

Of Black Clouds and Not Only Silver Linings is the documentation of my everyday existence. It will be a personal blog and above all I'm hoping this would help me look at things in my life in a different light. I'm under a giant black cloud right now, and I hope to note not only the things about the rain but the moments where I see silver and whatever other colored linings are behind these clouds.

If you know what I mean, then I hope you continue to join me as I try to change my perspective on things that I experience. If not, well, maybe you'll also enjoy the randomness of a person that I am. I will try to be an interesting human but I will not promise to be your clown. [I never liked clowns in the first place.]

Yes, it will not be an emo blog [I'd take myself off the internet before that happens, I promise you.] but it would not be devoid of the serious things which is a part of life.

So why the title?

Well, I'm a Dream Theater girl. I grew up with the music and the band has taught me a lot. Despite the fact that haven't been much of a devoted fan over the past couple of years, they still remain in my system. My first blog was entitled Scenes From My Memory which was a tribute to my favorite album from DT. [The story of why I closed it down will be for another day] The second one I was planning to put up but never had the time to would have been A Change of Seasons. Why did that never take off? I blame college taking up too much time. Of Black Clouds and Not Only Silver Linings is attributed to DT's album Of Black Clouds and Silver Linings. [which by the way, I have not listened too but the title really struck me.]

Why had I chosen to attribute a blog to an album I have not heard? It's because I feel that my life is in limbo right now and is very uncertain, just as not knowing what the album is about. Like I said earlier, my life is a big black cloud right now.

Why 'Not only' silver linings? I don't think the only linings there are in life are silver. There are other colors that can represent the short reprieves from the serious side of life.

Welcome to Of Black Clouds and Not Only Silver Linings. I hope you are not bored yet.

Additional information you should know:

Black Clouds - rant, bad days
Silver linings - for those moments that gives me hope

On the linings:
Red linings - Love
Blue linings - travel, events
Green linings - cash, income or work, school [you know, the relatively serious stuff]
Yellow linings - randomness
Orange linings - opinions, reviews
Purple linings - friends, hanging out, me